MomTok: The Not-So-Secret Lives of Mormon Wives

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Carolyn Howell

Last Updated: Oct 10, 2024

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Do you enjoy reality drama, parenting tips, and controversy? This combination of topics may seem randomly put together. But you’ll find all these and more when you check out MomTok on TikTok! 

Take a peek into the not-so-secret lives of modern Mormon moms. Get a dose of scandal and insight into how to go viral on TikTok!

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What Is #MomTok?

What is #MomTok? In a gist, #MomTok refers to Mormon mom influencers on TikTok. Mormons is the collective term for members of the Church of Latter-Day Saints (LDS). These influencers are typically from Utah and share content on being a modern, religious mother. 

However, the TikTok hashtag is not as wholesome as it sounds. It’s been associated with a swinging scandal within the Mormon TikTok community, thanks to the revelations of #MomTok creator, Taylor Frankie Paul. 

The hashtag eventually led to the development of the Hulu reality series, The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. The eight-episode series features the daily lives of eight LDS mom influencers who share parenting tips and their TikTok sponsorships, among others. 

Keep reading to learn more about all the MomTok drama!

A mom sits between her kids on a wooden bench overlooking a bridge.

MomTok Drama

Let’s trace the history of the MomTok mess. Here’s a quick summary of events:

  • In May 2022, self-proclaimed #MomTok creator Taylor Frankie Paul revealed that she and her then-husband, Tate Paul, were getting a divorce. She announced a TikTok LIVE, where she also dropped another bomb: “soft swinging” within the Mormon TikTok community. Taylor claimed that she and Tate switched partners with other Mormon couples and would hook up without going all the way. 
  • The swinging scandal quickly went viral beyond TikTok’s For You page. Taylor did not mention any names, however. She did confess that the divorce was her fault. She broke the rules of the “soft swinging” agreement with the other couples. 
  • In February 2023, Taylor was arrested for domestic violence in the presence of a child. During a drunken argument with her boyfriend, Dakota Mortensen, she allegedly threw a metal chair at him. One of Taylor’s children was beside Dakota when the incident happened and was struck by the chair. The child got a “goose egg”-size bump on the head. Taylor later pled guilty to aggravated assault. 
  • The swinging scandal led to the creation of the reality TV series, Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. Naturally, members of the LDS Church have voiced their criticism of the show, which throws their religion in a bad light.

A group of mom friends laughing together under the sun.

From Mormon MomTok to Reality Drama

Mormon MomTok content mainly focused on the modern family life of Mormon moms. However, the earlier scandal and current drama in the reality series have cast a huge shadow over the entire Mormon community. 

The series follows the real lives of eight women, including Taylor, as they deal with the aftermath of Taylor’s scandalous revelations. Demi Engemann, Jen Affleck, Jessi Ngatikaura, Layla Taylor, Mayci Neeley, Mikayla Matthews, and Whitney Leavitt are the other women. 

Taylor has never named anybody else in her swinging group. She also clarified that the “majority” of MomTok was not involved. The other women in the reality show have also explicitly denied participating in non-monogamous activities. However, a few of the cast are no longer active members of the Church. 

The docuseries’s first episode aired on September 6, 2024, and set the stage for a Team Taylor versus Team Whitney drama. The episode shows viewers what happened several months after Taylor’s now-infamous TikTok LIVE and before her arrest. 

After moving to Hawaii to escape the scandal, Whitney Leavitt returned for the show and to fight for the #MomTok throne. Taylor naturally wants to reclaim her #MomTok leadership role, while Whitney wants to give the hashtag a rebirth of sorts. 

Fighting for queen bee status, Whitney says that she wants to bring MomTok back to what it was.

Many members of the Church have voiced their dissatisfaction over the show for misrepresenting their religion. In an interview with ABC4, cast member Jessi Ngatikaura says the show is about “empowering” women in their religion and culture. The show is about how modern Mormon women navigate the LDS faith because “we’re all imperfect humans.”

A man pushes a pram, and a woman walks their dog on a leash.

Mormon Mothers on TikTok: Before the Controversy

The hashtag was born in January 2022 when Taylor and three friends (Whitney, Mayci, and Mikayla) started creating TikTok content. Soon after, the #MomTok group also welcomed Jennifer, Demi, Jessi, and Layla. 

The four mom influencers shared dance videos, beauty routines, comedic clips, and insights into the daily lives of modern Mormon mothers. Over time, the group amassed millions of followers on TikTok. 

Whitney later revealed in the docuseries that the online community may believe all the Mormon moms were best friends. In reality, nothing can be farther from the truth.

How Has the TikTok Community Responded to the Controversy? Frequently Asked Questions

What’s the true history of MomTok? Here are a few more FAQ to get a better perspective on the controversy.

Who was the original MomToker?

Taylor Frankie Paul has always claimed to be the original creator behind #MomTok. She began her TikTok journey in 2020, sharing dance videos and content on her life as a Mormon mom in Draper, Utah. 

Taylor and a few other Mormon moms started using the hashtag #MomTok in January 2022. Most #MomTok content creators are Utah-based LDS mothers and influencers, but the hashtag has an avid following worldwide. 

What was MomTok before the scandal?

Taylor started creating TikTok content with the hashtag #MomTok in January 2022, with three of the women in the Hulu docuseries. The other four Mormon moms soon joined the group, and they shared videos featuring their day-to-day lives. 

They also posted the usual dance videos, beauty tips, and parenting tips. Taylor’s content also featured her then-husband Tate and their two kids.

What was LDS’s response to the controversy?

This August, the church released a statement hinting at its dissatisfaction with how social media typically portrays the religion. The statement reads: 

“We understand the fascination some in the media have with the Church, but regret that portrayals often rely on sensationalism and inaccuracies that do not fairly and fully reflect the lives of our Church members or the sacred beliefs they hold dear.”

A mom and her daughter sit in front of a hay bale while playing around with an old-fashioned camera.

A TikTok Influencer’s Lessons on Authenticity

Was it TikTok’s advocacy for authenticity that inspired her revelations, or did she just want to go viral? Whatever her real motivations, Taylor has succeeded in distinguishing herself as an influencer on the platform.

Taylor’s @taylorfrankiepaul TikTok profile currently has 4.7M followers. Before her sensational TikTok LIVE, she had 3.5M followers. In one of her recent videos, she makes light of the scandal with this text overlay on the cover image thumbnail:

 “I admitted to some questionable life choices as a Mormon, but [at] least I got my friends a TV show.”

Influencers across different industries can definitely learn a thing or two from Taylor on how to go viral overnight. But remember that there are other paths to virality; you don’t have to take the controversial or sensationalist route! Authenticity has pros and cons, but the right audience will always appreciate your truth. 

The MomTok community may no longer be the positive and light-hearted group it once was. But the reality show has revived interest in the hashtag. The considerable increase in Taylor’s follower base proves that you can also leverage bad publicity. 

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